The Cult of The Pole

 Description 

The Cult of The Pole is a religious group that reside and worship The Grease Pole, within the Greater Grease Pole Area. The Children of Grease (name of a member of the cult), worship The Grease Pole and more importantly cover it with offerings. They call their offerings 'Grease' usually it is grease substances, such as the filling of a Pizzini, but it can also be other liquid and/or solid foods. Similarly to other religions, members refer to each other as "Child" as this is what The Grease God refers to his followers as.

Past offerings include:


 * Pizzini Fillings
 * Hand Sanitizer
 * Chocolate Yogurt
 * Semen
 * Radnor Fizz
 * Melted and Non-melted Cheese

 Gods & Deities 

Within publicly accessible knowledge, the Cult of The Pole have 1 god, the true god, the Grease God. The Grease God is different for each person, as they/it manifests and speaks differently according to the person, the way this is done is unknown. But they/it always have one message, "Spread the Grease my child, the pole must be greased up"

Alex Laird described his experience with the Grease God in a 2021 interview with BBC News, he said:

"For me, the Grease God manifests and speaks to me as the father of Emili Sandé, he tells me his words of wisdom."

When asked about why they/it manifests as the father of Emili Sandé, he said that he has no clue. He was also asked about what he meant by "words of wisdom", Alex said:

"No no no, you are not a Child of The Grease, you cannot know. Only the enlightened ones can bear such knowledge, it is for your own good."

 Current Members 

The Cult of The Pole utilises a hierarchy system, although only the highest status is occupied, Desposyni, as the only three members are all Desposyni, the highest status achievable by anyone but The Holy Three is Zealot.

Desposyni


 * Alex Laird
 * Brodie Forsyth
 * Myles Dixon

Zealot


 * None

High Priest


 * None

Great Apostasy


 * None

Apostasy


 * None

 Joining The Cult 

Joining the Cult of The Pole, is a long and painful process, it was designed this way to filter out the weak, and make sure that only those who truly understand the ways of The Grease God may enter, the processes are described in the Cult Trials. After passing these trials, you shall be an Apostasy. To gain a higher status, one must continue in the ways of the grease, and the Grease God shall send word to the Desposyni about them.